Happy Stomaversary to ME!

I have thought about this post for a couple days now. What would I say? How should I approach this milestone? Humor? Sadness? Should I attempt to express how much my life has changed or focus on how grateful I am to be alive? Should I recount the details I remember? Should I let my family tell the story?
I'm just gonna wing it.

Hello from the ICU!

One year ago I almost died. I'm okay with that. I have come to terms with that. Most days I can accept that I will never be the same person that I was 366 days ago. My body will always show scars. My digestive system will always be incomplete.

I will always be aware of pain, changes in my stool, sores in my mouth. Words have been added to my vocabulary. Ostomy, Crohn's Disease, fistula, resection, stoma.

I will forever be watching my son, looking for signs that I have unwittingly passed on this disease to him. I harbor a fear of living on my own. I fear that I won't be able to properly care for my son if I get sick again. I worry about the medications that I know are in my future. My mind sometimes swarms with cancer statistics of Crohn's Disease patients.

 But I'm here, I can walk, talk, play, drive, and live my life.

Two days ago I found myself in the emergency room with abdominal pain, diarrhea and nausea. I'm not gonna lie, things like that really terrify me. I could have a blockage, infection, flare up... Who knows. This is my reality now. 

I'm so grateful to have lived. 

Me and Mancub 9/5/13 Today is a Good Day.

Things have happened this past year that make me proud. Proud to be a mom, sister, daughter. It hasn't been perfect. Recovery is a long process and I'm not 100% yet. 

My life will be forever changed. And That's Okay. I have a chance to live. To learn new things To educate others on this disease and condition. I can make new friends who I otherwise would never have met, simply because we share this lifestyle now. 

 I'm looking forward to all the years and stomaversaries ahead.