How You Can Help <3

A while back, I posted about my beautiful sister who was going to run in Hawaii with Team Challenge. Well, due to minor a physical setback, she has decided to run in Napa instead. 
She is still taking donations. 

This is copied from her website.

"Up until a few years ago I had no idea what Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis were. In 2011, that all changed.

After months of stomach cramps, diarrhea and other digestive problems, my sister Elizabeth, was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. She spent many days in the hospital ER trying to figure out what was causing these symptoms. After a few months of trying different treatments and no results, she was hospitalized in August of 2012.

At that point she was so malnourished and in so much pain the doctor wanted to try steroids and pain medicines delivered by a Picc line for a week to see if that would be any help. The x-ray to check on the picc line placement saved my sister's life. It showed that her colon had already perforated in multiple places. An emergency surgery was done to remove her entire colon. She now has an end ileostomy. This ileostomy has saved my sister's life. I can't imagine a life without my sister, she is one of my best friends. I can't imagine her son growing up not knowing his mom. I hate this disease. The doctors are still not sure if her original diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis is still accurate or if she has Crohn's Disease. They are leaning towards Crohn's Disease, which can spread through her entire digestive system, making a reattachment surgery an unlikely choice for her.

You can read all about her journey through this at her blog: mamasgotastoma.blogspot.com

In the spring of 2012, IBD doubled down on my family. My Uncle Dave, was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and ended up with an emergency Colostomy also.

I have been a runner for almost 10 years and the Napa Half Marathon is the most important race for me yet. It is my way to support my sister, uncle, and the IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) community.

Please help support my fundraising efforts:

$10: I will send you a Blue rubber bracelet that shows your support of the Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis foundation of America.

$50: I will write your name on the back of my jersey to share your support with everyone. 

$100: you can sponsor a mile of my race.

$200: I will make a "flat Stanley" character of you and take pictures along the course and send them to you after the race."

I know these diseases have affected many of my friends, new and old.
I am so proud of my sister.

You can make a donation at http://www.active.com/donate/napaga14/jessawotona

Thank you, friends!

Jessica, her daughter, and my Mancub

My New Favorite Thing

I have had my ostomy for almost two years now. 

Can you believe it? I can't. 

It feels like yesterday that I landed in that hospital, hours from death. 

Since then, I have learned so many different things that I never would have even thought of. 

I have used trial and error and discovered a pouching system that works for me. 

One thing that I have just started using in the past couple of months, that I LOVE love love love, that I don't know how I lived without, is my wraps from www.ostomysecrets.com. 

See, my stoma is fairly high on my abdomen. Many ostomates wear their pants over their pouch as a way to conceal it. I would be wearing some hiiiiiiiigh pants if I was gonna do that. For a long time, I was wearing my pouch over my pants and wearing a cami, and the longest shirt I could find. 

I was always, ALWAYS pulling on my shirt to make sure that the "tail" of my pouch wasn't showing. More than once, it was before I noticed. Talk about STRESS. 

Boom!

Ostomy wrap. 

My pouch is concealed. It is secure. 

I even wear one to bed and I am sleeping better because it is more secure and not flopping around. 

Life is good. 

Thank you OstomySecrets! 

Free!!!!!

Today, I completed the last final of this CRAZY semester. 

I celebrated by taking a bath. A BATH. I haven't taken a bath in almost two years. 

I wasn't sure if my skin or pouch could handle it. 

It was lovely. 

A wet pouch is annoying for a while, and I hope it stays through the night. 

But for now. Bliss. 

The Last Stage is Acceptance

Hello all!

So much has happened since Valentine's Day so let's get to it!

I spent this weekend attending the UOAA Mid-Atlantic Regional Conference that was held in Virginia. The Northern Virginia ASG (Associated Support Group) was our gracious host and coordinator. 

This was my second conference as an ostomate. It was a different experience for a few reasons. When I attended the National Conference in Jacksonville, FL last summer I was one of 400. This weekend was attended by, I'm estimating, 125. It was a more intimate experience overall and I was much more comfortable approaching people and making new friends. 

I also attended this conference by myself. BY MYSELF. In July, my sister came with me. Having a companion was a blessing and a curse. I had someone to talk to, attend sessions with, and eat meals with, but I also think that I held back a little and let myself be a little more reserved. Not having my sister this weekend took away my crutch so I had to "man-up" and talk to strangers. 

There's one topic that kept popping up this weekend that I wanted to share with my readers.

 Many of the speakers spoke about how, when you get ostomy surgery, it is normal to go through a grieving process. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  Just think about it, your body has been cut into, chopped up, and re-routed. Your body will never be "normal" again. It will never be "complete" again. The loss of that normal and complete body is a huge loss. As humans, we grieve when we lose a family member or a friend. It only makes sense that, as ostomates, we all had to go through a grieving process to mourn the loss of our normal selves.

  I remember too well the overwhelming feelings I had after my surgery. I remember feeling out of control and emotional. In hindsight, I can see that I was going through the stages of grief. The first three passed pretty quickly but I know I was stuck in depression for a very long time. I still have moments when I get overwhelmingly sad that this is the path my life has taken. I still have mornings when I don't want to get out of bed because I ate a bag of popcorn without drinking enough water and my stomach hurts. There are days that I don't want to shower because I know if I do I'll have to do an entire bag change and that just seems like so much work. 

But then there are mornings when I wake up and feel overwhelmingly grateful to be alive. There are days when I realize I have been at the park or walking around Target and I haven't had to gather up the Mancub and run to the restroom (multiple times) doubled over in pain. There are weekends when I have the opportunity to meet amazing people who, otherwise, would never have been in my life. 

I want to share with you all some pictures from this weekend. 

I'll add more as I receive them!

Me and Brenda Elsagher!

Just me and my bag.

Acceptance is a beautiful thing.